31 May 2012

I regret that I didn’t put much effort for this day as much as I can as I was putting up a montage for bebe boy. But I mean to make up for it tomorrow. To think that the previous party was most emotional and laid out, his party set the bar for despedidas. Today went as good as it can though it could’ve been better if not for the surgery and patients that keep coming by the minute. To those who were there with us in presence and in spirit, though drained out from the monthly cleaning and night shift thank you for staying behind to see JP off in his last duty with us.

Today we say goodbye to another set of broken hands to set sail for bigger dreams. I wasn’t able to cast my vote when you were neck and neck with Jobelle for the post because I was prepping for my NMAT. It was a tough call for them. Jobelle put up a good fight. But either could have been a great addition to our family as it is now.

Six months and a few pounds later, you flee the nest to test your flight. You have bigger dreams, a path you have to carve for yourself. Be where you should be bebe boy, do whatever it takes, and when you’re weary from all the crap, come back and we’ll fuck ‘em all.

All the best for you doc bebe boy. We’ll miss you.

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Jessica Sanchez, I think i feel your pain. kinda.

28 May 2012

The results are in. After the nationwide vote,

“First ka sa staff.

Second ka saken. First si Riri.

First si Michelle kay Sir.”

It’s about time they named the promotion. It has been ages.

There have been some inquiry as to why I did not invest interest in the position. This is the second time I let an opportunity pass. Let me help you understand.

  1. I feel that I don’t have the refined set of skills, wit and decision-making abilities to perform at par.
  2. It doesn’t feel right to get ahead of those who have seniority assuming I scored well on the evaluations.
  3. I suck at leadership and assertiveness. It’s tough to be bound by expectations regarded with a private institution. When push comes to a shove, all hell might break lose. I fear for other people.
  4. I am clever enough to know my odds. With the competition i have, there’s no way I’ll score the position.
  5. I don’t have plans of staying any longer. Two years is a long time. With Ramde and JP gone and soon ate May, no offense, but there’s less and less reason to stay everyday.

Assuming I submitted an application and did the math counting in my terrible self-esteem, I might actually be Mantasia. Just Mantasia. But unlike him, I’m not really good at what I do. I just do what do.

I did not bother asking my final standing. Although it somehow matters to me what my work friends’ regard of me, I don’t see any point in knowing for the sake of just knowing. What? Just so I’ll have another reason to tear myself apart in misery? I think I have that covered already.

A thought occured to me, “kay sir alrey ako!” said Jobelle. Ego boost.

To those who see what I don’t see in me, I am indebted to you. But I suggest you see an ophtha or neuropsych consult, you are not seeing the bigger picture, only figments of my magnificence that don’t measure up.

Kieran, whoever you are, just dim the lights will you!

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desk: papa check up? pt: hindi, papaconsulta lang. desk: kelan last check-up? this year? pt: hindi, last month lang desk: ano papa-check-up? pt: hindi ko alam. kaya nga ako papa check-up eh. desk: pa-spell po ng name pt: ….crickets…. desk: b as in boy o v as in victory? pt: b as bictory desk: birthday? pt: ano ba nakalagay jan? desk: ilan taon na? pt: compute mo na lang *********** pt: pwede magpa-xray? desk: papa check-up na din po ba? pt: hindi. papatingin lang kung may fracture. desk: sino titingin ng result? pt:…crickets…. ***** pt: pwede magpa check-up ng BP? desk: may sakit po ba yung BP nyo? ***** pt: i’m on maintenance med for hypertension desk: do you take ‘em everyday? pt: no. do i have to? desk: just take one as needed for stroke. *******

desk: papa check up?

pt: hindi, papaconsulta lang.

desk: kelan last check-up? this year?

pt: hindi, last month lang

desk: ano papa-check-up?

pt: hindi ko alam. kaya nga ako papa check-up eh.

desk: pa-spell po ng name

pt: ….crickets….

desk: b as in boy o v as in victory?

pt: b as bictory

desk: birthday?

pt: ano ba nakalagay jan?

desk: ilan taon na?

pt: compute mo na lang

***********

pt: pwede magpa-xray?

desk: papa check-up na din po ba?

pt: hindi. papatingin lang kung may fracture.

desk: sino titingin ng result?

pt:…crickets….

*****

pt: pwede magpa check-up ng BP?

desk: may sakit po ba yung BP nyo?

*****

pt: i’m on maintenance med for hypertension

desk: do you take ‘em everyday?

pt: no. do i have to?

desk: just take one as needed for stroke.

*******

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thanks McDonald’s Solano for the free McCafe and Cheeseburgers for the staff!!
28 May 2012
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Photo credit: Taare Zameen Par http://fathommyinnerfreak.tumblr.com/post/6757736456/issues

Photo credit: Taare Zameen Par

http://fathommyinnerfreak.tumblr.com/post/6757736456/issues

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22 August 2011. Me on drugs making peace with the tragedies of my life.  I don’t know what happened to me. Out of spontaniety, I decided to get drunk. I might have tranced out with all the alcohol coursing through my system. I made it halfway through the main road laden with heavy vehicles weaving back and forth. The headlights were blinding but the honking was drowned by my loud thoughts.And i just stood there, staring blankly ahead. I could care less what people thought. I just wanted everything to stop. ..so I would like to have happened. I never knew that it could happen till it happened to me. I was jabbed head on. I started to bleed and ache, the pain surged throughout and I slowly faded away. But I didn’t know why. Not until recently. I have found my safe haven, like nothing could hurt me. But with the recent turn of events, it couldn’t be any more ironic.#an excerpt Photo Credit: Three Idiots

22 August 2011. Me on drugs making peace with the tragedies of my life. 

I don’t know what happened to me. Out of spontaniety, I decided to get drunk. I might have tranced out with all the alcohol coursing through my system. I made it halfway through the main road laden with heavy vehicles weaving back and forth. The headlights were blinding but the honking was drowned by my loud thoughts.And i just stood there, staring blankly ahead. I could care less what people thought. I just wanted everything to stop.

..so I would like to have happened.

I never knew that it could happen till it happened to me. I was jabbed head on. I started to bleed and ache, the pain surged throughout and I slowly faded away. But I didn’t know why. Not until recently.

I have found my safe haven, like nothing could hurt me. But with the recent turn of events, it couldn’t be any more ironic.#an excerpt

Photo Credit: Three Idiots

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I can feel you forgetting me.
Sam St. Cloud (Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud)

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Nandito lang naman ako. Kapag may kelangan ka, 0906******
Katryn Ria Celestino. 3 August 2011

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Burnit Camp Day 3

12 July 2011

It was great starting three mornings with the burnits. Waking up beside the people who have left an imprint in each other’s lives. I don’t want this to be over. emo? ^ ^

We changed the sleeping arrangement. 

The morning was cold. Like another storm was brewing. 

All of us have woken up aside from ading bu. Shen passed me ate nell’s sarong and i draped it over ading bu who looked cold. Sana makatulong ang manipis na sarong.

Crap! uwian na talaga.

Don’t be sad it’s over. be happy it happened.

*****

Back to the men’s shower room. After the morning rituals, we packed our things. All set!

“bakit parang dumami yung gamit ko???” i noticed.

We walked around a bit for photo ops with enchong and ate charm

sana kasi sinabing magpupti pala pag-uwi para di ko muna sinuot yung white shirt ko. hmp!

What to eat for breakfast…hmmmm….

“beef. seafood. beef. beef. seafood. seafood”

“ate pwede humiram ng tinidor?”

“May red eggs pa tayo dun”

Ate nell and ate weng went back to the camp site to get the eggs. Ading bu cracked open the first one and gave me the other half. Pasosyal pa xa kumain. Nakatinidor. Ginaya ko naman. Nakailang small bites na xa.

“BAAAKKEEEET GANITOOOOO???” I was stunned by how the egg tasted.

“Parang bulok”

Ading bu stopped mid-chew. The eggs in his mouth. Almost about to gag. His face was priceless!!! Haha. Sayang walang picture!!!

They tasted the others. They tasted the same.

“Ah, hindi to bulok. Di lang na-preserve maxado.”

“Hindi to bulok. Di lang na-preserve maxado.”

Paulit-ulit ate jean? haha

*****

We came across with the guard on duty. Dahil malakas ang alon, walang huli, walang maiuuwing isda.

“Manong, pwede i-refund yung bayad nung ice kagabi?”

“cge po. saan ilalagay mam?” 

May sumpa talaga ang lugar na ito!!!

*****

when people started loading the bus, haaay..uwian na talaga.

pero lollipop muna.

grabeng init naman!!! wetlook na kami.

*****

Thanks for the memories Dinadiawan!

*****

stop over for a quick snack..ensaymadang munggo..and tire change

“kami na nag-order para saten kasi wala na namang mangyayari pag hinintay namen kayo magdecide” sabi ni ate nell. haha

libreng cornetto ni ate charm for the moral support!!!

*******

after all is said and done, it’s been great and i had fun!!!!

9 notes

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Burnit Camp Day 2

10 July 2011

I have realized I dreaded nightfall with all the overflowing booze.

 

Thank God for the morning!

 

*****

While idling about inside the tent, a woman shrieked.

“Ambaho ng tae ni kyle at hara!” said Mam Angie.

 

Sila yun!!! ang mag-tito!!!

*****

After a lengthy but non-productive walk to the fish vendor, we’re off for a 30 minute boatride to the rock formations. What appeared to be a group of 15 exploded to everybody coming.

 

“Tinatanong ko sila kung sasama sila, hindi naman kasi sila sumasagot”

Pinauna na namen sila. While waiting for the boat to return, we tried to rent life vests from the resort. Pero naubusan na daw. So we settled for the salbibida for the burnit camp.

 

The boat took ages to return. The burnits hopped in first and settled at ther rear portion of the boat. I have never been in a real boatride before. This must be fun!

 

And it was! No sea sickness for me. Sucks for Kyle and Ate Nell. haha. Huge were the waves who tried to devour us alive.

As we were nearing the island, Kyle pointed to the visible corals beneath.

Oooh!!

The first batch were waiting to be taken back when we arrived.

“Eto na yun?”

“Anong gagawin naten dito?”

The sun was searing hot. Thank God for the towel we brought. Walang sarong e.

People were picking up shells and corals and hermit crabs. But the heat was so overpowering that we just stayed under the shade awaiting for the boat. losing our minds.

 

“Hindi pa kami nakaluto!!!”

Minutes turned to hours. 

 

Ate jean died and came back to life…

“Ayna!!!! Jean aya!!!! Aña napasamak kenka?? kasatnu sikami nga nabatim???”

Still no sign of the boat.

…itutuloy…

******

i thought i was having auditory hallucination. but it wasn’t only me who heard the boat coming. we jumped to our feet. gyrated to thank the anitos for bringing back the balangay. 

whoever thought of wearing the vines in protest of the boat taking ages to return must be fed to the sharks. crap!! angkati!!! buti may betahistine akong baon.

 

the boat ride back was a lot more fun. larger were the waves. the boat almost capsized countless times. however, we seem to be not getting anywhere near the beach however much far we’ve already gone.

“anu nangyare sa tent naten??”

“nilipad yung tent nyo” told sir paul. “kaya tinanggal muna namen yung pantaas.”

The inside of the tent was a disaster. Para kaming ninakawan pero walang napala yung magnanakaw. haha. Inside, i feel vulnerable. naked. xe walang nang privacy. wala nang takip. yung mesh na lang.

“Kumain muna kayo” Maternal mam Angie suggested. “Tinirhan namen kayo xe hindi pa kayo nakaluto”

” Salamat mam. Magaayus lang kame”

“Mamaya na. Kumain muna kayo”

“Para direcho higa na mam pagkatapos maligo”

Nagwalis. Nagayos. Sinecure ang tent.

Amoy tae pa rin yung tubig sa shower.

Di ko na kinailangan yung betahistine ko xe nagsubside na yung kati after maligo. 

Andameng pagkain sa kabilang campsite. Kahit pala hindi kami nagbaon, mabubuhay kami sa tira-tira ng kabila. Sayang o. Nakatipid pa sana kami.

 

 

We did not put back the top cover of the tent. Natulog na lang kami ng vulnerable. Walang pakialam kung sino man ang sumilip sa loob.

The last thing i remembered before I dozed off was Ate Charm’s MMK moment.

ZZZzzzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzzzz

“heloo po…maglalaro na daw po tayo..” said Hara, softly.

“Cge cge, susunod kami” replied ate weng.

Kung hindi dahil sa ambon, wala kaming balak bumangon.

******

The girls have planned for a bonfire by the beach. Nasan ang apoy??? Kyle and I got up and scoured the dark for panggatong.

 

 

We grilled marshmallows. We tried. But the heat is not worthit. We just ate the thing as they are! But Trian was adamant.

“Tito…”

“Benta mo dun. Sabihin mo limang piso isa”

Then ate des came.

“Binebenta nya yung mallows. 50pesos”

“Huwat!!! Grabe tumubo tong batang to. sabi namen 5 lang eh.”

Kyle wasn’t giving up either.

“Tara?” and points to the bar.

“Mamaya pag walang nang tao”. I was willing. Gusto ko din naman.

few minutes later…

“Tara?”

Aynalord ading bu!!!!!

******

“bili na kaya tayo ng yelo?”

A long debate ensued on the merits of bying a slab of ice for the fish. In the end, we did.

We all walked up the guard house to reserve two blcoks of ice which kyle and I will pick up in the morning.

“Kuya pwedeng pa-picture?” we asked the guard on duty

“wala akong camera.”

We all broke into halarious laughters.

Kakaiba ang dinadiawan!!! haha..

******

We started fixing our bags para in the morning, final ayos na lang.

Kami na lang naiwan sa resort. so sa shower room na ng girls kami naligo ni kyle. sa wakas may shower curtain na!! di na lantaran!!!

“san ka?” asked kyle already in the shower.

“dito sa gilid” I was starting to strip.

“Lipat ka sa gitna” there were only three cubicles.

“Nakahubad na ako!!!”

“cge na! para iabot ko na lang yung sabon sa taas”

“iissss!! saglit garud!”

“amoy tae rin tubig dito!!!”

“tapos ka na?” di ko alam kung bakit, pero we always ask this pag naliligo kame.

“hintayin kita?”

malamang!!!!

*****

“ubusin na naten yung mga baon naten. alangan namen iuwi pa natin yun?”

Malugod kong ipinakikilala..si MIRANDA!!!

*****

“punta lang ako dun” said kyle. i thought he was referring to the bonfire where the other guys were still binge drinking so hindi na ako sumunod.

Hindi ako makatulog.

Kung sana nahintay mo ako ading bu. Nag-solo flyt ka na naman e. Yun na o! Gusto ko na! Atat ka lang. haha.

The Second Temptation of Alrey Torres.

*****

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